Madea's Loud Christmas
by frustratedscientist94
Summary: The Loud family are late on their bills and financially insufficient on Christmas Eve. Floyd, a former butler, has become a good friend of the Louds over the years and has called his old friend, Hattie, seeing as she went through the same thing not too long ago. Unknown to them, Hattie is bringing someone else...


**A/N: Hello, Fanfiction! I am back! With a Christmas Special starting early, but I don't care because I can't wait for Christmas! I know that I need to update the stories that I have already published, so after this speacial is complete, I will. This is based on Tyler Parry's Madea's Christmas. Some of the jokes are from another one of Tyler Parry's plays, The Haves and the Have Nots.**

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(Lynn Sr. and Rita are shown sitting on the sofa, Lisa is in her room with Lily experimenting, Lola and Lana are in their room; Lola is at her make-up table and Lana is hanging upside down on her bed while holding her pet lizard, Lucy and Lynn are in their room; Lucy is sitting on her bed writing poems and Lynn is bouncing a baseball off of the wall while lying on her bed, Lincoln is in his room lying on his bed reading comics, Leni is in her room doing nothing, Lori is out in the upstairs hall texting, and Luna and Luan are in their room; Luan is reading a joke book with her novelty glasses and Luna is laying on her bed with her guitar. Luna starts playing O Come All Ye Faithful at rise)

LUNA - O come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant, o come ye, o come ye to Bethlehem.

LUAN - Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels; O come, let us adore Him,

ALL - O come, let us adore Him, O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

LYNN - O Sing, Choirs of Angels, Sing in exultation, sing all that hear in Heaven God's Holy Word.

LENI - Give to our Father Glory in the Highest; O come, let us adore Him,

ALL - O come, let us adore Him, o come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

LOLA - All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee, born this happy Morning, o Jesus! For evermore be Thy name adored.

LANA - Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing; O come, let us adore Him,

ALL - O come, let us adore Him, o come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

(Luna gets a small solo)

LINCOLN - All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee, born this happy Morning, oh Jesus for evermore be Thy name adored!

LORI - Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing; O come, let us adore Him,

ALL - O come, let us adore Him, o come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

(Luna ends it after another small solo. Then, the upstairs lights darken and the lights view Lynn Sr. and Rita on the couch)

LYNN SR. - You think we should tell the kids?

RITA - We've been over this before. No. I don't want them to worry or try to "help".

LYNN SR. - Yeah, but, I don't want them to find out at Christmas. It's bad enough that we can't afford gifts this year, but we're going to be homeless! They need to know, Rita!

RITA - And they will. In time.

(Floyd enters)

FLOYD - The door was already open. Just in the neighborhood. What's happenin'?

LYNN SR. - (Monotone) Hey, Floyd.

(Floyd looks around)

FLOYD - I'm sorry, I thought Lucy said something. What's good?

LYNN SR - Honestly? Nothing

FLOYD - Well, you just ruined my whole d*mn mood, bein' all depressin' like that. Just know, whatever it is, I'm here for you.

RITA - Really?

FLOYD - Y'all are like family to me... WHEN I LOOK AT YOU ALL... IT'S LIKE LOOKIN' AT MY OWN BROTHERS AND SISTERS... *PHG!* I AM SO SORRY... Jesus... THANK YOU...

LYNN SR. - Well, thank you, Floyd! Well, you know, we're a little behind on our payments. Rita doesn't want to tell the kids. Could you help-

FLOYD - AHH! I just lost my hearing! That's aMAZing! I used to play with candles a lot when I was a kid! I used to drip the wax in one ear and make it run through to the other side! I guess it got stuck somewhere in the middle! I can't hear nothin you say!

LYNN SR. - (Unconvinced) Yeah, alright, Floyd.

FLOYD - I can't hear nothin you say!

RITA - (Flatly) Yeah, alright.

FLOYD - Ab-sol-lut-ly nothin' you say!

LYNN SR. - (Agitated) You know what, Floyd? We don't need any of your money.

FLOYD - (Normal voice) But if you need anything else, let me know.

(Lincoln comes downstairs followed by the girls)

LINCOLN - Hey, Floyd.

FLOYD - Oh, hey, Lin- Is that Lincoln? Man, you are growin' like a weed. Got some?

(Lincoln chuckles then Lincoln exits into the kitchen)

LYNN SR. - Do you have anyone that CAN help us?

FLOYD - (Thinking) I may have someone.

(Floyd goes to the phone, picks it up, and starts dialing)

LYNN SR. - Thank you so much, Floyd. I'll pay you back, someday. I promise.

FLOYD - (Chuckles) Yeah, you will.

LYNN SR. - So, who are you calling?

FLOYD - Someone you have to have a translator to understand. A.K.A. your worst (Whispers) NIGHTMARE.

FLOYD - Hey, Hattie. It's Floyd... What in the-... Listen, I don't want to hear any of your long a** stories, okay? I need you to come to... uh... 1216 Franklin Avenue, Royal Woods... Hattie! Behave yourself! There are children!... Bye!

(Floyd hangs up as the three oldest sisters give him disgusted looks and Luan laughs hysterically)

LYNN SR. - You know, you never told us why you lost your butler job...

FLOYD - You get your mouth off that! Get your mouth off that! You don't know NOTHING about that! Get your mouth. Off. That!

(Lola, Lana, and Lynn chuckle as the rest exit into the kitchen)

LYNN SR. - Seriously, though. Who'd you call?

FLOYD - You'll find out soon enough.

RITA - We can't thank you enough, Floyd.

FLOYD - Yeah. You really can't.

LYNN SR. - You sure that you don't have any money-

FLOYD - Cramp!

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 **A/N: I know it was a little rushed, but I ended at the end of a scene, like this entire thing. I'm sorry for taking so long, but there is a one-word excuse for it; school. Also, Church, there was a play that I was in, I'm helping my family work on my bathroom, there were so many things happening. Anyway, I will post chapters for this, spaced out of course, until December 21st. Happy Early Thanksgiving and Happy Early Christmas! Favorite, Follow, and review, if you want to. Until next time, Colleagues!**


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